idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He better not be in your backpack
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
