Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
