Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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