I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
