we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
