So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
my poor anus
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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