I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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