He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
