I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
