What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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