This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
