...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
