Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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