i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
