I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
