It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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