Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
