Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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