enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
