ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
