I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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