Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
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