You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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