There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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