Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
