I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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