the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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