(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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