You're so nebulous sometimes
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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