Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
