Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize