Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize