my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
