If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
