I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
