speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
