that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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