the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
