So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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