I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
