check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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