my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
