I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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