watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
ttyl tear gas
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
