we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
