Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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