if only i could text you this smell
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
