it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
