That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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