i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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