I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
