bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
