I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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