no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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