i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
