Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
