He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize