She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
