i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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