Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
