I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
is wine microwaveable?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
two words: eviction party
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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