She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize