You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
