Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I had to cum in my sink.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize