she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
