In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize