watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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