i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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