Your tits are I can't wait for
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The Olympian is in my bed
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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