The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My day in three words: secret purse cake
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
