my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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